National “Don’t Bite Your Dentist’s Genitals Day” Announced

The Alliance of Genitally-Maimed  Dentists has announced that February 30th has just been officially declared “Don’t Bite Your Dentist’s Genitals Day”.  To celebrate the newly designated national holiday, the AGMD plans to produce a series of ads reminding the public not to bite their dentists’ genitals.  AGMD President, Dr. Dick Lessnow, points out that biting…

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Global Squashing

  The picture above may look harmless enough, but  in reality it is a harbinger of the impending doom that I regret to have to inform you about!  I’m afraid that my girlfriend and I have inadvertently set in motion something that will inevitably lead to the obliteration of our planet.  I’m speaking of course about…

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Koming Out Of The Kloset

“We need to get over this prejudice stuff.” Cliven Bundy –  Noted Self-Proclaimed Non-Racist Who Tends To Say Racist Stuff With all of the news coverage of Cliven Bundy and Los Angeles Clippers Soon-To-Be-Not Owner, David Sterling and their racist comments, one group of people has suffered considerably from all of the racism rhetoric.  I…

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Ronald McDonald’s Makeover

Although the nation will never forget, America has forgiven and Ronald McDonald has finally bounced back from the sex scandal that ensued after he was seen humping a virgin during live television coverage of the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade in 2009 (as seen in the image above). To celebrate, America’s favorite heart-disease-inducing clown reportedly has undergone…

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Steve’s Axe Girlfriend

  “I want to thank you guys for helping me.  I know there’s other things you’d rather have been doing today than helping me move all my crap up two flights of stairs.  So, here’s to you my friends!” Steve said, raising his beer bottle in salute to the group of his tired, grubby buddies…

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Excerpt From The Eight Fingered Fiend of Lake Porker

The full book is available for purchase in e-book and print form at: Amazon.com Amazon.co.uk Barnes and Noble Kobobooks Smashwords Now, for what I expect will be your nearly-orgasmic reading pleasure, I present the first two chapters of The Eight Fingered Fiend of Lake Porker: . Chapter 1:  Bless Your Heart   “Well, Dr. Braun, what…

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Blog Tour For The Eight Fingered Fiend of Lake Porker

  For details and tour schedule, visit the promo page at PumpUpYourBook.com  

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New Release: The Great Chupacabra Kerfuffle

New Short Novel Release Available Free On Kindle February 20-22, 2014, then just $0.99! “Awesome! 5 enthusiastic stars!!! Just like the mythical beast in the title, this book really sucks you in!” – Some Blogger You’ve Never Heard Of Whom The Author Paid For A Review   It’s going to be a long last week…

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Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas

Stuck on what to get your sweetie for Valentine’s Day?  I have some fantastic suggestions…   Prepaid Funeral Arrangements If money is no object, for an extra-special V-day, gift that special someone with a life insurance policy with you named as the beneficiary.  Your lover won’t be able to contain his or her passion!  …

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Remembering Dad

It’s been a little while since I last posted.  I’ve been a bit distracted lately since my father went into the hospital a few weeks ago.  It was an up and down situation, but ultimately he passed away yesterday afternoon.  Since this blog is mostly dedicated to humorous writing, I thought I’d post about some…

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