Ronald McDonald’s Makeover


Although the nation will never forget, America has forgiven and Ronald McDonald has finally bounced back from the sex scandal that ensued after he was seen humping a virgin during live television coverage of the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade in 2009 (as seen in the image above).

To celebrate, America’s favorite heart-disease-inducing clown reportedly has undergone a hot new designer makeover.  His new wardrobe, created by Tony Award winning theatrical designer Ann Hould-Ward, does away with his dated creepy clown look and replaces it with a totally hip, new, and even creepier clown look!

He’s still got the big red shoes, but now he’s sporting a pair of too-short yellow pleather cargo pants with a matching vest over a red and white striped rugby shirt.  But that’s not all!  For “special occasions” (and we all know how special occasions at McDonald’s can be), he’s got a fancy red blazer to wear.  Sadly, I am unable to post a picture of the new look here without paying a hefty royalty fee (OK, I was just too lazy to post it, but I’m sure there was a hefty royalty fee!), but if you want to imagine what the complete ensemble looks like, just think the irresistibly sexy combination of  a movie usher crossed with Heath Ledger’s version of The Joker.

One can only wonder though… With this hot new look, can another sex scandal be far away?  After all, if the rumors are true about the correlation of shoe size to certain peniscular attributes, old Ronny McD no doubt has piqued the desire of women (and men) the world over.  With this irresistible new image, he’s sure to have sexual offers being thrown his way all the time.  Take it from one who lives it every day, dear readers, that kind of temptation is hard to resist!

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